Friday Links!
Leading off this week, from Jonathan Arnold (who makes an appearance later as well), a link to
Trailblazing, an interactice timeline of the history of science. It is beautifully designed, full of information, and it goes back three hundred and fifty freaking years.
Randy Graham sent me what is possibly the most epic magic link ever. The link is to a book titled
Magic 1400s-1950s, and it's a
seventeen pound history of magic. It looks utterly fantastic.
From Andrew B, and excellent link about
how to extract DNA from anything living.
From Ryan, a bizarre (and yet somehow strangely fantastic) story:
Somali pirates soliciting investors.
From Sirius, a striking link to a video of absolutely titanic waves
striking French lighthouses. Please note that as originally typed, I had titanic
wives striking French lighthouses. Also, an entirely amusing video about
flying penguins. Next, believe it or not, a story about
trapping a rainbow.
From Clayton Lee, a bizarre and amusing PSA, encouraging Brazilians to pee in the shower
to conserve water. It's quite cleverly done, really.
From Jonathan Arnold, a link to a collection of 40 spectacular
panoramic photographs.
From Steve, a link to an oddly compelling video about an
eagle whisperer (the narration is a bit wacky, but the video footage is fantastic).
From Sean, a link to more images of the remarkably creative
Ghost Man.
From John Newhouse, a link to an interesting bit of design that I haven't seen used in this country yet:
a traffic light with progress bars.
Here's an entirely bizarre bit of history: a video made in 1963 showing British soldiers
under the influence of LSD as part of an experiment. The best bit of narration:
One hour and ten minutes after taking the drug, with one man climbing a tree to feed the birds, the troop commander gave up. From Brad Gehrig, a link to an incredible story: a coyote hit by a car at 75mph that wound up inside the engine compartment--and survived.
From The Edwin Garcia Links Machine, two links from Succeed Blog. First, it's Cookie Monster Succeed. Then, and this is both amazing and hilarious, it's Bike Messenger Succeed.
Console Post Of The Week: A Buffet
November NPDs aren't out yet, but here's a very striking indicator. The week of Black Friday is always a huge PR moment for console manufacturers, and they're always ready to beat their chests and act like Tarzan.
Nintendo was first this year, saying that Wii sales for the week including Black Friday
exceeded 550,000 units.
Sony announced next, and according to Sr. Corporate Communications director Patrick Seybold, the PS3 sold more than 440,000 units for the
week ending November 29.
What did Microsoft have to say? Here's Xbox 360 product management director Aaron Greenberg, from his
Twitter account:
Great BlackFriday results just in, biggest sales week of the year for Xbox360, more than 2xs previous week sale. No way. Did he just do what I thought he did?
Let's say there are three guys, and there names are Ben, Lee, and William Shakespeare (why? Because I can.)
They're all sitting in a room together, and because there's just been an extended discussion about midgets, they're all asked to state their height.
Ben stands up and says "I'm 6'3"."
Lee stands up and says "I'm 6'2"."
William Shakespeare stands up and says "I'm twice as tall as that little guy standing in the corner."
Microsoft, in this case, is William Shakespeare. Uh-oh.
Here's something else worth watching, although we won't see the potential effect until the December NPDs come out. Wal-Mart announced today that they're offering a $50 gift card with the purchase of a Wii from December 5-12. They also announced that they're discounting ten games by $10. Here's the list (thanks Joystiq):
Mario & Sonic at the Winter Olympics (Wii)
Lego Rock Band (Wii)
Rock Band: Beatles (Wii)
MySims: Agents (Wii)
Tekken 6 (Xbox 360 and PS3)
Madden 2010 (Xbox 360 and PS3)
WWE 2010 (Xbox 360 and Wii)
Batman Arkham Asylum (Xbox 360)
Dragon Age: Origins (PS3)
Left 4 Dead 2 (Xbox 360)
Halo 3:ODST (Xbox 360)
Uncharted 2 (PS3)
I don't think the industry is willing to accept this, but that $10 discount is going to drive some serious numbers.
One last note, and this is about little plastic instruments. If you're not living in a bomb shelter, you've seen every retailer practically giving them away. At Best Buy the other day, I was offered a private island and a personal man-servant if I would buy an original Rock Band bundle for $50.
With regret, I declined.
How many damn plastic instruments did these companies order? Plastic Guitar Town in China must have been working 24x7 for the last two years straight. What were Activision and MTV expecting--an unbroken chain of people holding plastic guitars stretching from San Francisco to Miami?
Yes, of course it would be called Plastic Guitars Across America.
EA Sports And Irony
In the post I made yesterday about the NCAA games being at risk, I mentioned that it was ridiculous that one of the possible feature additions was teams playing like their "real style."
Good grief.
Here's the irony. I wrote a post about text sims a while back, and one of the fundamental principles I mentioned was "let the community help you." No matter how much of a subject matter expert one person might be in a sport, the community will always collectively know more.
EA just won't acknowledge this, and now it's come back to bite them in the ass. Want to have the best possible for all teams? Just give us access to the play database and let us create custom playbooks--you know, like we could in the
last generation. Then let users upload custom playbooks to their lockers where they would be available for download.
What about plays teams run that aren't in the play database? That's why we need access to a play editor as well, and those plays could be included in custom playbooks.
It wouldn't take long for a "master playbook project" to be created and completed. Two weeks, tops. Instead, though, EA doesn't want users to have access to that kind of customization, even though they'll let us add crap like "custom sounds." Woo hoo.
Hoisted by its own petard.
What's that Sn word?
Our seven day forecast. Clearly, tomorrow is some kind of computer glitch:
The Unicycle Trophy
I had a few requests to take a picture of Eli's unicycle trophy, so here it is (last name greyed out):
Unicyle trophies don't really exist, so what I did was order that little unicycle (which is free-standing) and a trophy shop supplied the base and the plaque. He can actually take the unicyle out and play with it if he wants, because it just rests in the stand but isn't actually attached to it.
I've forgotten how long he was supposed to ride at one time before he got a trophy. I think it might have been a mile, but he blasted past that so long ago that it doesn't even seem relevant anymore.
I'm also going to design a trophy for myself the first time I break something.
Moments Of Unmitigated E-Mail Brilliance
First, from Paul Costello, about the possibility of the unicycle fall and my mysterious illness (which is now mostly gone) being connected:
My theory is that your unborn twin, which has been harmlessly trapped in your ribs this whole time, was freed due to the impact of the fall, and is now wreaking havoc with your immune system. His name is Miguel, and he will have his vengeance.Next, from Fredrik Skarstedt, about Gloria being the Cat Whisperer:
What is now required is a recording of Gloria speaking in her cat tounge. Your readers with cats will then play this to our cats, record the behavior and then email it to you for compilation.
Your wife may be a witch and if that’s the case, we must build a bridge out of her.
EA And The Future Of College Sports Games
This popped up on
Reuters today:
EA currently publishes more than 50 titles and plans to cut that back to about 40 next fiscal year to focus on quality games. Riccitiello said he could see EA publishing even fewer titles going forward.
"Thirty wouldn't shock me at some point in the future," Riccitiello said at the Reuters Global Media Summit in New York on Tuesday.
This isn't being widely discussed at this point, but I think the writing is on the wall for
NCAA Basketball, and I think
NCAA Football is in serious trouble as well. Dollar for dollar, it should be significantly more cost effective to develop a pro game with 1/5 the number of teams, stadiums, playbooks, etc. It's just less labor-intensive to be accurate.
EA recently put up a survey about which features people would most like to see in NCAA 11, so it's seemingly safe for next year, but the survey itself is a good example of just how clueless this series has become. There was a laundry list of potential "new" features, and people were asked to select their top three. Here were a few of the options:
--Locomotion Gameplay with authentic momentum based physics (more dynamic cuts, AI reacts more realistic)--All-New Spread and No-Huddle Spread Gameplay (Teams look to the sideline as they increase the tempo of the game)--Authentic offensive styles of play (USC will actually PLAY like USC utilizing their key styles you see on Saturday)Physics-based gameplay, an offensive style that is now common, and "authentic offensive styles of play" are possible additions to the game? WTF have you guys been developing for the last ten years? If you've been developing this game for ten damn years (at least) and teams aren't ALREADY playing like they play in real life, then that's a fail.
Here's the problem in terms of development, though. There are 117 teams (if my counting is accurate) in this year's NCAA Football game. That's 117 stadiums to model, 117 sets of field artwork, 117 uniform styles (with alternates), 117 different playbooks (if they did it right, which they don't), and the complexity is greater in every single situation.
NCAA Basketball? Same problem, and even though the presentation was significantly improved this year, the game didn't review well and doesn't appear to be selling well, either.
So the the complexity is much higher for a college title, but sales are much lower. In EA's current environment, that's a deadly (and potentially fatal) combination.
Trip Bits
Here are a few assorted stories about our trip to Shreveport, because I've apparently actually caught
an actual
disease, much to my surprise, and my brain isn't working (insert your punch line here).
***
Gloria's aunt Peggy is in her seventies. We saw her while we were in Shreveport, and she mentioned that she was thinking about buying a computer. "I don't want one," she said, "but Jim does."
Jim is her husband.
This went on for about fifteen minutes, and Peggy must have protested at least a dozen times that she didn't really want a computer.
Hmm.
Gloria and I stopped at a Best Buy a few days later to see if we could find a good system for Peggy to buy.
"Maybe she'd like one of these slimline systems," Gloria said.
"That won't work," I said, "because she can't get a 3D graphics card with decent performance in that size case."
Gloria laughed. "I don't think she's going to need a gaming card," she said.
"Really?" I asked. "Because I think that's exactly what she needs. I think she was protesting the whole time because she wanted to throw us off the track."
"And what is 'the track'?" Gloria asked.
"World of Warcraft, obviously," I said. Gloria laughed.
"Clearly, she's been playing on public computers and wants to take the next step up," I said. "The next time you talk to her, say 'What guild are you in?' Also try 'Are you familiar with the term power-leveling?' and 'What's the aggro radious?' "
"I'll do that," Gloria said.
"If she needs a name for her guild," I said, "suggest 'Rest Home Raiders.' I think that has a nice ring to it."
***
We made our usual two stops at the
Caldwell Zoo in Tyler (as I've mentioned before, one of the top ten private zoos in the country), but this time, two unusual things happened.
The first was a leopard. This leopard:
What made this leopard so unusual was that she was preternaturally calm. She just sat next to the window, completely relaxed, and watched everyone. I told Gloria to talk to her (Gloria is the Cat Whisperer)--she has this special voice she uses with George and Gracy that they both love--and when she did, I saw the leopard's ears perk up and her face soften. I half expected her to roll over on her back.
We stayed there for at least ten minutes, and the leopard sat next to the window and never moved. There was a second leopard in the habitat, prowling around, but she just ignored him. She just sat by the window, being sunny.
I've never seen a big cat act like that, and she left quite an impression on me.
We also saw something that blew Eli 8.4s mind: a falcon in training. There was a clearing behind some of the habitats, and two women, separated by twenty yards or so, were giving commands to a falcon, who was flying back and forth between them. The falcon had a leash, and it was quite striking to see them working to shape his bad-ass bird power. Eli took an amazing picture, and here it is:
I'm Going To Hell
Here's the
headline at MSNBC:
Ex-Miss Argentina dies after cosmetic surgery
38-year-old Solange Magnano passed away after procedure on her buttocks
That's not why I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell because I burst out laughing when I read this quote from "close friend" Roberto Piazza:
A woman who had everything lost her life to have a slightly firmer behind.
I think that says it all, and if it doesn't, it should.
Tiger Down, Tiger Down
"Did you see that story about Tiger Woods?" Gloria asked. Since everyone on planet Earth knows about this already, I'll assume that you do, too, with apologies to our extraterrestrial readers.
"Tiger Woods has BROKEN MY HEART," I said.
"Oh, you mean the affair? I'm really disappointed, too," she said.
"No, not the affair, exactly," I said. "Tiger Woods is one of the coolest people in the world. If he's going to be in a sex scandal, it should be because his wife arranged a three-way with the second hottest women in the world. That is the only situation that could possibly live up to Tiger Woods standards."
Seriously, dude, having your wife go all Mike Tyson on your car with a golf club, causing you to drive over a fire hydrant and into a tree, has "hillbilly" written all over it. The only things missing are an aluminum softball bat instead of a golf club and an Oxycontin addiction.
Come on, man, you graduated from STANFORD. Step your game up.
The Weekend
It was an interesting weekend.
On Saturday, I upgraded from Vista to Windows 7. I was already using 64-bit Vista, so I just upgraded instead of doing a clean install. It took about an hour, it was incredibly smooth, and I didn't have a single problem.
Way to go, Microsoft.
Here's how much I like
King's Bounty: The Legend. Even after becoming a victim of the infamous Vista 64 crashes during battles, even after wasting (easily) 15 or 20 hours trying to troubleshoot the problem (which I wrote about at length earlier this year), even after having zero attention and no patches for this issue by the developers (who developed
Space Rangers 2, if you remember, which was one my favorite PC games of the last decade), I was still desirous when the
Armored Princess expansion came out.
It's a disease, really.
So here's the torturous logic I used to justify buying both the original game (which I've already bought) and the expansion via Steam. Wait, "logic" is too strong a word--"desperately hopeful" is more accurate. I was desperately hoping that the Steam version was magically different than the disc-based version I bought and would therefore run just fine in Windows 7. Plus, the bundle was $39, and the expansion by itself is $29 at EB Games, so I'm really only paying $10 to try this out, right?
Sure.
Like I said, it was totally ridiculous, embarrassing even as I type it up. What a tool.
Having said all that, though, it worked. Yes, incredibly, the combination of Windows 7 and the Steam version have magically fixed all the crashing problems I was having. I played at least 3-4 hours on both Saturday and Sunday with zero crashes (and spent another big chunk of time playing Solium Infernum, which made it the biggest gaming weekend I've had in a long, long time).
On Sunday morning, Eli 8.3 and I went for a ride on a new course we'd mapped out the day before. It was about 2.5 miles, and mostly consisted of curving sidewalks (and lovely scenery) along a road called Riata Trace Parkway.
One of the sections, though, was a red dirt park trail around a big pond. We hadn't walked the trail in advance, just saw via Bikely that it looped around the pond and was about half a mile in length. We both really like mixing in a little trail riding during a regular road route, so this was going to be the best part of the ride.
What we didn't know (besides accidentally taking what I now believe was a longer route that was hidden in the trees in Google Maps) was that there were rocks on this trail, and I don't mean "rocks," I mean "ROCKS." Giant rocks that a single person would never be able to lift, and lots of them jutted sharply above the ground. It would have been a nicely challenging course on a mountain bike.
Except, obviously, that we were on unicycles. Oops.
This is the kind of situation where your strongest instinct is to just plow through, and we started (very carefully) picking our way throught this mess. Incredibly, Eli 8.3 only had to dismount twice, and he planned it both times. Not so incredibly, I fell, and it was one of those falls where my whole body slammed onto the ground with no chance to use my hands to break the fall. It's one of the hardest falls I've had in a long time, and I'm sure I sounded like Matthew Stafford miked up when I hit the ground (in case you listened to that).
I went ahead and finished the ride, but man, it hurt. So today my left side basically feels like it got beaten with a sledgehammer. Of course, I'm still driving over there today and walking that section to figure out if we took a wrong turn, and to see if there's any way to ride through.
Also yesterday, my stomach decided to blow up (which seems to happen every year or so). I woke up at 5:30 with an entirely ridiculous amount of hearburn, and even after being careful with what I ate during the day, over about a ten minute period last night it become exponentially worse, so much so that I was basically inapacitated for about an hour. I was so nauseous that I was dizzy.
That means that I'll be eating very little for the next few days while my system sorts everything else out. Cookies are pretty bland, right?
Friday Links!
Starting off this week, the remarkable story of a manual of "deception" written for the C.I.A. during World War II by magician John Mulholland (whose actual importance has been debated for years, and I've linked to some of the stories). Believed to have been destroyed, the manual resurfaced recently, and can even be purchased on Amazon. This
Wired story has details.
From David, a fascinating article at Wired about writer Evan Ratliff's attempt to
create a new identity and vanish (as part of a contest).
From Shane Courtrille, a link to a fantastic idea: a gaming website that specializes in reviews for disabled gamers. It's
AbleGamers.
From Jean-François Boismenu, a link to BioShock cosplay that I can only describe as EPIC:
BioShock at the Georgia Aquarium.
From Franklin Brown, an interactive fiction project about World of Warcraft, loosely in the form of a ZORK adventure. The difference is that forum members were submitting commands, and the author incorporated them into the adventure. It's really brilliant beyond all description, so enjoy
You awaken in Razor Hill.
From Steven Hurdle, a link to what must be the greatest Public Service Announcement ever created:
North American House Hippo.
From Brad, a link to
KEO, a space time capsule scheduled to launch in 2010-2011 (possibly--it's been delayed six years already). The hook is that you can submit your own message for the time capsule, free of charge.
From hippo, a link to an intriguing new quantum theory in physics:
Hořřava gravity.
From Dan Holmes, a link to a TED presentation about the future of computing:
The thrilling potential of SixthSense technology. Very, very cool.
From The Edwin Garcia Links Machine, a link to a story about a sport I was fascinated with as a kid:
The Return of Jai Alai. If you've never heard of jai alai, you'll be amazed.
From Marc Halatsis, a link to a blog that is full of posts on fascinating subjects:
The Selvidge Yard.
From Sirius, a link to a remarkable project:
IBM computer simulates cat’s cerebral cortex. Also, and this is just ridiculously cool:
Generic Names For Soft Drinks By County. Next, an interesting discovery:
Adults Fooled by Visual Illusion, But Not Kids.
From Michael Lange, a link to a spectacular and disturbing photo essay:
Pollution In China.
From Jesse Leimkuehler, a link to amazing images of Enceladus:
one and
two.
From Tim Hibbetts, a link to an ingenious and fun idea:
piano stairs.
Matthew Stafford Audio
It's a little late for the Thanksgiving Day game, but Detroit Lions quarterback Matthew Stafford had an epic performance at the end of last week's game against the Browns. He separated his shoulder on the next-to-last play (time ran out, but a defensive penalty was called), was helped to the sidelines, came back onto the field after a timeout, and threw a touchdown pass to win the game.
That was spectacular enough, but NFL Films had chosen that week to mike him during the game, and they have a six-minute clip with audio and video. It's fantastic and incredibly intense (the sounds he makes after he's hit are excruciating). Take a look
here.
Happy Thanksgiving: Meet The New Family Distance Champion
We got up this morning and went to ride on Shoal Creek Boulevard, a lovely road that usually has far too much traffic to ride on safely. Thanksgiving morning, though, was perfect.
I was really looking forward to this ride, but I quickly realized that the crown of the road was much higher than I expected, and so the slant was quite difficult. For me, at least--Eli 8.3 didn't even notice.
We rode for 40 minutes, and he never stepped off. I might have matched him, but I ran into a parked car. That's "parked" as in "not moving." Paging Mr. Bean!
We measured the route in the car after we finished, and it was 3.2 miles. Unbelievable. And he's only 8.3.
I'm dead tired now, even though that's close to my regular ride length. So we've just been hanging out watching football for most of the afternoon (Gloria made a great lunch).
He's holding his trophy, by the way. I don't think I ever took a picture of it before, but it's a little unicycle on a stand, and the plaque says "UNICYCLING MASTER LEVEL" and his name.
Happy Thanksgiving: Solium Infernum Released
A demo is also available. Go to the
Cryptic Comet website.
Back, And Alive
Trip detritus.
We stopped at a Dairy Queen in a small town east of Waco. The bathroom had one of those air dryers, and for the first time in years, I saw that someone had scratched graffiti onto its surface.
When I was a kid (centuries ago), it seemed like most bathrooms had some kind of dumbass graffiti--some were covered in it--but at some point, it went out of style.
Not here, though. So I carefully examined their work.
On the air dryer unit, it said "DIRECTIONS," but someone had scratched over the "D" and made the first "I" into an "E".
Oh, I see what you're doing there. You turned "DIRECTIONS" into "ERECTIONS."
Plus, they wrote "Chad + Keith" below "ERECTIONS." Now I really see the full scale of this comic assault--see, I think they're implying that "Chad and Keith" might be "gay." That is HI-LARIOUS.
With this kind of superlative, ironic comedy mind in town, I bet the local
Video-Bait-BBQ store can't keep David Mamet VHS tapes in stock.
We were in the middle of nowhere on the way home (a different middle of nowhere) and I saw this sign as we entered the city limits of some tiny town:
No Engine Brake By City Ordinance.WTF?
I looked it up, and it's specifically referring to a "Jake Brake," which you can read about
here, if you're so inclined.
We went to Krispy Kreme for breakfast Tuesday morning before we left Shreveport, and I noticed that the little paper hats they always have had French on them (which I've never seen before). This resulted in a long conversation about French, which Gloria knows reasonably well.
"I bet you didn't know that I could speak French," I said to Eli 8.3.
"No, because you can't," he said, laughing.
"I can," I said. "Enchanté, derrière," I said.
"Right," Eli said. "You made that up."
"I did not," I said. "That is an actual French phrase."
Eli turned to Gloria. "Mom, is it?"
Gloria started laughing. "It is," she said. "It means--" she started laughing again.
"--it means 'pleased to meet you, buttocks,' " I said.
Eli burst out laughing. Gasping, really. With eight-year-olds, buttocks are still golden.
I'm Pretty Sure This Is The Worst Idea Ever
Time to check that new customer algorithm, Chase.
You Know Where I Am
Gloria's father was talking to me on Saturday night after we arrived.
"My sister lives in Crawford, near where the President lives," he said. "I visited there last time in 1942, I think. I went out there and it was so relaxing, and every day she did all that down home cookin'. That was so good--there's nothing like down home cookin'...of course, it killed her."
"I don't have any family left, Bill. They're all dead. You don't know what it's like to lose everyone in your family one by one. They've been gone a long time, too...of course, I have my brother and sister."
We all went out to eat dinner that night, and the end of the L.S.U.-Mississippi game was on. After that, the local news started. Here's how the broadcast started out:
1. 2nd degree murder
2. self-defense seminar for rape protection coming on Monday
3. death ruled suicide
4. H1N1 deaths
I was cringing, because Eli 8.3 was watching all this, and after the fourth story, he turned to me and said "Man, a lot of people die here, don't they?"
I tried to take the high road. "Apparently," I said.
Gloria's going out with a friend of hers who moved BACK to Shreveport after many years. She's a very nice lady, and after a highly untoward incident at Gloria's wedding shower many years ago, she was the one who restored order in decisive fashion, which immediately made me fond of her.
One thing that has always puzzled me about women going out with other women is that they dress up for each each. Gloria always dresses up when she goes out with her friends, and
[I know. Maybe she's not going out with friends. Har-de-har.]
it's a big event.
When guys go out together, they just try not to fart. Sometimes.
So Gloria's got this "outfit" put together, and when she's done getting all fixed up, she says "There's not a full-length mirror here. Does this look all right?"
"Sure," I said.
"Really?"
"I'm sure she'll want to French you as soon as you say hello," I said.
"Very helpful," she said.
Um, Roar
Walking With Dinosaurs featured roaring. Lots of roaring.
The dinosaurs were very impressive, and the T-Rex was magnificent, but by the time the show ended, I was shaking hands with deafness.
Deafness said something to me, but of course I couldn't hear.
In the seats directly in front us, there was this little kid with some kind of filament toy they sold at the arena. The toy had many, many different settings, based on what I saw looking around the arena, but only one setting mattered to the kid in front of us:
strobe. That's right. Strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe.
Strobe.
This always happens. "That guy" or "that kid" or "that drunk" or "that guy with the gun" always sits right in front of me.
There were only two other toys set to strobe in the ENTIRE ARENA (small arena, and they had part of it blocked off). The odds that this kid would sit directly in front of us were incredibly small--much less than one percent.
That's why they call me The One Percent Man.
There was also The Kid Who Can Only Say One Thing sitting next to us on the right. You know this kid--he's about ten years old, and for a few weeks, he just says the same phrase over and over again. In fact, for that short period of time, he never says anything else.
This kid said "YO YO YO!"
Let me try to recreate this for you:
Strobe strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO!strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO! strobe strobe strobe strobe YO YO YO!
I am quite tired. Roar.
Eli 8.3
We were on our way to Eli's soccer team pizza party.
"I can't wait to see Nora," I said.
"I know!" Eli said, laughing. "That girl eats more pizza than any kid I've ever seen!" It's true. Nora, who isn't fat in the slightest, can eat six pieces of pizza with no problem. And does.
"I can't believe she can eat all that pizza and still be a good weight," I said. "How does she do that?"
"Fiber," Eli said confidently.
***
"If we let Gracie in your room at night to sleep with you, she'll wake you up," I said. "But if we close your door, she'll cry because she can't get in, and that will wake you up, anyway."
"Hey!" Eli said. "It's a Cat-22!"
***
"What's it like raising a baby?" Eli 8.3 asked.
"Well, it depends a lot on the baby," I said. "Until your mom went on a lactose-free diet, your stomach was really upset, so it was hard for you to sleep."
"You woke up three or four times a night for the first six months, at least," Gloria said.
"Sorry, my bad," he said, laughing.
***
Eli is completely fascinated by the trailer for
The Blind Side. Actually, that's not quite right--he's fascinated by Sandra Bullock, particularly her heavy Southern accent. He's taken to walking around the house and saying (with perfect Sandra Bullock pitch and accent) "Don't you dare lie to me" and "This team is your family, Michael."
